hotlou

“How to Leave a Message.” Or “Why Benji Got Mad at Steve”

Posted on 12. Jan, 2010 by hotlou in Play

One sunny Summer Saturday afternoon between grades 10 & 11, I called Mike Franklin but got his answering machine (back in those days). An idea immediately popped in my head so I left this entire message: “Hi”.

I then called right back, predictably got the answering machine, recorded another one word message: “Mike”. Called again, answering machine, “It’s”. And so on.

Later, when Mike returned home and was shocked to see he had 10+ messages, he quickly checked his machine and heard:

“Hi BEEP Mike BEEP It’s BEEP Lou BEEP just BEEP calling BEEP to BEEP see BEEP what BEEP you’re BEEP up BEEP to BEEP tonight BEEP because BEEP I’ve BEEP got BEEP YOU HAVE NO MORE MESSAGES“

And nothing else.

Confused, he called me to see why the messages stopped mid-”sentence.” I explained to him that after the 14th call or so, someone had picked up and yelled into the phone “Who the HELL is this?? I’m TRYING to take a GOD DAMN nap on the FUCKING couch!!!”

His dad had answered.  And I had shit my pants.

Mortified, all I could sheepishly mutter was, “Is Mike home?”

“You’ve called 25 GOD DAMN times! No, I don’t think he’s FUCKING home!”

*gulp* “ok” *click*

The next day, while playing Sonic the Hedgehog @ Chez Franklin, Mike’s dad stomped into the room upset.  Expecting to be chewed out, I cowered deep into the couch cushions, and watched as he towered above us, slowly opened the mouth on his angry face, and addressed Mike, “That IDIOT friend of yours called 25 times yesterday afternoon while I was trying to take a nap on the couch.”

Ok, that wasn’t so bad. But he continued.

“If you see him, tell him I better not see him around here for a while.”

Huh? I was sitting 9 feet from him.

“Cuz I’ll tell you what, if that Steve kid shows up around here, I’m going to give him an earful.”

He thought it was our other friend Steve the entire time!  I was so relieved that it took me more than 15 years to realize I probably owe Steve an apology and a bit of gratitude.

So thanks, Steve. And I’m sorry.  Just please, I beg you, don’t tell on me.